It could be worse, baby. Edition 1 – 1.30.20

Australia is on fire, singed koalas gulping from biker’s water bottles while their Northern neighbors decode whether the Wuhan bat soup was bad or bad. The leader of the free world adds an impeachment stain to his general orange hue and the legendary memories of Mamba must satiate us from now on.

As Herb Cain once said, “It could be worse, baby.”

This month, in San Francisco, we find the $5 bill on upper Market amidst the turds:

…fresh white truffle snow over six of the sweetest gnocchi pillows at Che Fico, slid across the bar with the right amount of carefree ceremony.

…a group of elementary schoolers recently emerged from the Embarcadero BART escalator, chaperones herding the loose ones back into the general mass. A lone little sheep in a Niners jersey over his fleece cocks his head up at the big buildings of 100 California and grandstands, “Welcome to the city, kids!”

…the owner of Kozy Kar, a Polk Street staple since 2009, closing down his bar to pursue dreams of becoming an exotic male dancer. The bewildered staff leaving customers a taped explanation, replete with a Dirk Digler quote.

…Gus, a gorgeous Golden Lab from the Outer Sunset, search-and-rescuing a mauve dildo in Golden Gate Park to the horror and humor of his human. (thanks Nextdoor for this one!)

…one magikal birthday eve, after confusing Karaoke and hot pot in a red room, a group of adventures found a deceased hawk, newly perished. She was mourned, then brought to the California Academy of Sciences where she was finally laid to rest amongst her brethren and science gained a teacher.

…Vichy Springs on a misty North Bay day. The grounds were silent and green as the rain dotted, and the indoor Champagne baths offered refuge without solitude. I bought a tiny, sparkling ring from the owner’s jeweler daughter.

…Lunar New Year in the office. Liu Bei the lion danced across our concert floors, drums echoing off conference walls. He gnashed his teeth, nudged our shoulders, and raised up on his hind legs to bless us with luck and skill.

Farewell January 2020, I will miss you for the moments I cannot live again.

See you in February.